The other side...

Thriving on self medication
Living through the ticks of clock
Watching time rush by
as blaring music rip my liqour sodden ear drums
completly lost and yet profound
I am the feeling that was banished long ago
and yet here I am to make that hollow noise
to revive that numb sensation
to reap guilt and agony in heart.
In heart that declared itself cold, long ago.
No string attached, free and yet chained
chain of thoughts, chained to memories
and gaze fixed on void.
I am about to leap, to the other side
not for the green grass
but to escape.
this feeling and this world
because, sometimes,
blaring music and intoxicated thoughts
are not enough
to shut the echo of grieving past.